This post goes out to them mostly, but really to everyone too. We have all been subjected to the absolutely toxic and dysgenic ideology of the narcissistic Boomers and their destruction of all that came before them that was good and healthy and worthwhile. They built nothing, climbing on the corpses of the things they destroyed only to aggrandise themselves while feverishly blocking their own offspring from either being born in the first place, or any effort to have them catch up to them.
And while there are exceptions here and there, the extremely absolute vast majority of boomers are an absolute toxic sludge of modernity, self-obsession and narcissistic demonry. And to one extent or other, we have all been polluted by its stench.
So… please read this post at Sigma Game, where a comment by a GenX lady was posted in full. Read the whole thing there, but here is the pivotal jist of it:
Most women are natural followers and need an in-group of other women to build and grow their identity. And the older Boomer women who should be our matriarchs are STD-ridden, Diamond Princess-cruising nightmares.
When I left my stunningly-successful-early-in-my career professional position to (a) stay home with babies and (b) turn my professional skills toward supporting my husband’s business endeavors, every single one of the Boomer women in both of our families let me know how shocked and disappointed they were in me. How I was setting myself up to be too dependent on my husband, and was throwing away all the opportunities they fought so hard for. This included both my mother who was living vicariously through me, my you-go-girl mother-in-law, all three of their sisters, and three boomer aged step-sisters.
Notably, all but one of them are divorced. The one who isn’t is miserable. So it didn’t take long to look at their lives and think, well, if they’re all disappointed in me it must be the right call for not ending up as a miserable old biddie like them.
And the comment on it by Vox is spot on:
This woman did exactly what I fault young women, particularly of the Millennial and Gen Z generations for not doing, which is paying attention to the outcomes of the older women who are attempting to advise you! Misery loves company, and failures love giving advice; in both cases, the wise young woman will reject both.
However, this will inevitably create a challenge for the woman who has neither mentors nor matriarchs from whom she can learn. I know one Gen X woman who rejected her Boomer mother’s insane ways, but it took her literal years to learn how to cook, clean, and make a home from scratch as a post-college adult, because she had no female role model younger than her grandmother upon whom she could rely.
Both the lady who wrote in and Vox absolutely right. And I can attest to it myself, since I certainly did not have a good role model for marriage, but I was lucky enough to spend a few formative years with my grandparents, which on both sides were an model of stability so solid that as a child you just took it for granted. And that is not because things were necessarily rosy between my paternal grandparents. But whatever things they may have gone through, it was kept intensely between them and never touched us as their grandchildren. The love they had for us was never conditional or faked. The primary concepts my brother and I picked up in growing up were probably limited to a limited warrior code of being honest, keeping your word, not taking any shit from anyone, but not be obsessive about it. Justice was the thing, not your ego. And self-reliance, mostly not because it was taught but because we were left to our own devices pretty much unless it was something extremely serious. And even then, sometimes it was down to us anyway. I suppose you could put it down to being raised by a Sigma boomer father in that respect. He wasn’t very present and when he was it was mostly corrective (even when he was wrong). But that all said, I have no animosity at all towards the man, and he certainly always came through when it counted, nor was his love ever in question. Even so, I can’t say the example we had was a good one, in terms of creating a stable family life.
My wife had even less of any kind of even distant view of a traditional marriage and family life, and it has indeed taken her a long time to find her way in even the basics, which given my own examples probably made everything harder on both of us. One thing that has however held everything together is that we both have either a learnt or natural element of deep loyalty. In general, to each other, and to our children. It is an odd kind of loyalty, because it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s shared in the same way at the same time, we are only getting to that point now, after 7 years of marriage, before that, I would say it was our own, individual sense of loyalty and justice that kept us on course even when things were not ideal.
And certainly, I think a lot of grace, or divine assistance too, came into it. By all metrics, our marriage should have been an absolute train derailment, caused by a car-crash pile up on the railway, due to an airplane smashing into a level crossing. At rush hour.
Instead, it’s starting to become what I might have imagined in. my most fevered and fantastic imagination, as an idealistic 16 year old wondering what the perfect life might look like.
And if I have to point to a single thing that made it most possible (you know, after miracles, divine intervention, possible cohorts of angels and so on) when it comes to our human attributes, I would say that it is without a doubt my wife’s ability to do something that very, very, very, very, few women are truly capable of to any decent degree, and it is this:
She has the capacity to pause, review, and recognise logical paths before her and her own errors regarding them.
It is really quite astonishing, because she is absolutely female. Her emotions are truly like a storm at sea, both in the good and the bad. I really believe no man has any real clue the levels of emotional tides that women experience, and I say that being a man that clearly has a wide range of them beyond most normal men. The astonishing thing, which I tried to transmit also in Caveman Theory, is that the more of a safe realm you give your woman’s emotions to run free, yet are able to keep them also “contained”, that is allow her to do her freak-outs but don’t get phased by them nor let them steer you onto the rocks of dissent, disrespect, or utter madness (and that last one can be hard to define!), the more, if she is at heart a healthy person (and not a raging narcissist, in which case, you may not survive) she may become able to reason herself back to sanity once the tsunami of whatever it was has passed.
Perhaps it’s because she’s English. Those people have the almost alien-like ability to simultaneously not know themselves very well or very deeply, and yet to try to do so by the use of cold and calm logic. Unfortunately the study, use and practice of logic in the last century or so has been vilified, negated and denied to most people. So, great damage to this ability has been done, and the Anglo-Saxon female realm has gone from trying to reason things out during the calm between emotions, to the simple rationalisation/justification of whatever emotion happens to be running them in any given moment.
Certainly she also has an IQ that is well above average, which also helps, firstly because there isn’t an actual 30 point IQ communication gap between us. Or at least, mostly there isn’t and those little gaps that can happen if not taking the time to examine them can be bridged by a calm conversation.
But whatever the reason, she has the ability to do logic if given time and space to do it. She still needs to sometimes be “corralled” to the “logic box” because there are things that otherwise will be ignored for years, and being that as well as extremely feminine, she also has the tendency towards wanting to be as free as the proverbial mustang running in the prairies, that corralling is really something only a vastly experienced cowboy with the talent to make it an art might be able to do. The fine line has to be taken that she has to see it for herself. The corral, needs to be seen from a distance, because if she suddenly finds herself in one, even one of her ow making, then it’s usually panic stations and red alarms going off. And she also has to see it is good, from a distance, because again, it might be perfect but if in her imagination it comes as a sudden imposition she will panic without even evaluating what it is. And then see has to see it is not a prison but a home, a place you return to, not one that prevents you being free, but in fact one that allows you even more, and real freedom, once you accept the responsibilities of it.
It is not always easy, and I have never been a patient man, which may be a curse for some, but perhaps, in her case, it is a good thing. Pretty women invariably get away with murder with men. Most are too timid to even point out certain things, never mind make it something they will insist is part of their life. In short, sometimes, it takes a bastard to point a spoilt pretty girl in the right direction. It is not a trope in all the girly romantic novels for no reason after all, cliched as it sounds.
But the point is that above all, as I have been saying for literally decades, women need to begin to learn how to do actual logic. Their wild emotions and crazy feelings need to be learnt to be put aside and things reasoned out. And not with a view to justifying their feelings, emotions or what they want to happen, but so that objective reality can be evaluated and where they have lacunae (gaps, holes of knowledge, behaviour, understanding, intimacy, or whatever) they, not their husbands, not their children, not society, not the universe, not God, but they, they themselves, need to change and take the appropriate action to rectify and improve the issue. Very few women do this process consciously.
Most women who have read this will at this point be screaming at the screen, saying that sentence is so much nonsense because they…(add endless list of self-recriminating statements here). So let me explain it another way, and if you are a woman, please, put your emotions aside and pay attention.
Being able to observe yourself critically but in an objective fashion is very difficult for all human beings, men as well as women, because we are mostly selfish, weak, petty, ego-driven, flawed, nasty, little creatures. Yes, all of us, in varying degrees, but all of us.
Women, being far more governed by their emotions than men, naturally find this exercise far more difficult than even most men. Compounded by the biological solipsism intrinsic to women, which they can no more help than other attributes of their biology, and it is really quite hard to do. This process, has nothing to do with, and is very different from, the constant self-recrimination that most women who are not actual full-blown narcissists do. Allow me to give an example that will be instantly familiar to any woman.
Every normal woman, no matter how physically attractive she is, will invariably find some flaw with herself if standing naked in front of a full-length mirror. I know because I have observed this myself with literally every woman I have been with. And trust me, at the risk of sounding arrogant, I have had some very pretty girlfriends. And yet, they will absolutely crap all over themselves about some non-issue, that can range from the shape of their fingers, to the way their hair falls on them, a slight defect like a birth-mark, a tooth that is not perfectly straight, you name it, they will see flaws that no man would care at all about when looking at the rest of them. Women do this not just about their bodies but any number of other utterly irrelevant things.
If I ask a friend over to my place, it hardly makes a difference to me if there are dead bodies stacked by the front door. He’s my buddy, he’s not coming over for the decor. My wife (and this is natural and a good thing, I am not saying it is not) will freak out and try and spic and span the whole house like a tornado if the postman is dropping a parcel off and I invite him for coffee. She is starting to learn (the hard way) that in rural setting with 5 children, she may as well ask for herds of unicorns to line up outside for filming. But regardless she still gets rather upset at life, the universe, and sadly, herself, for not having things as perfect as she would like.
But I am not talking about these sort of recriminations. they are mostly a slight disease of the mind, quirks, and the general approach a man should have is to try your best to put her mind at ease and let her see her efforts are appreciated and her “flaws” are meaningless or even endearing to you.
When I talk about correcting a behaviour or flaw, I mean important shit that can fuck up your life, like excessive solipsism, or disrespecting your husband for some idiotic feminist concept that has no place in a healthy society. If you are a stay at home housewife and your husband works all day, learn to cook. Learn to take care of the home. And if you think that is “below your standard as a woman” then explain to me why driving a truck for 15 hours a day and getting a back injury from it, or being a plumber and literally fixing people’s shitty pipes all day, or an. oil rig driller and being covered in slurry and toxic shit day and day out is not below a man’s standard. looking after your family as you are able to is your duty. And yes, we all have duties if we are human beings even worthy of the name. And yes, your duties are more important than some fake, magical, Disney/Hollywood fairy tale life. If I need to crawl through a pile of rotting dead bodies for my family to be safe and happy, I will not even hesitate. Hell, I wouldn’t hesitate if I have to MAKE the pile of dead bodies before I crawl through it. And I full expect my wife to be able to do the same if called upon it. Though I will volunteer first for the dead bodies stuff, so it’s only fair she is the primary cook at home. There is absolutely nothing intrinsically wrong in each one having different roles. Not respecting those roles or not performing our duty-bound actions in their regard is the problem. Not the thing or the doing of the thing.
The moment women learn to do a lot more logic than they have been taught in the last hundred years, the sooner they will get back to being the kind of heroines that their grandmothers and great-grand-mothers probably were; with the added bonus that the “feminizing” of the men that has taken place over the same period, has resulted in the minority of men that have remained men, instead of becoming metrosexual, androgynous, confused fools, better able to appreciate a woman who is properly a woman instead of a spoilt brat or a slovenly slattern.
In short, the attitude that having a big family with lots of children, that being as self-sufficient as possible, and that the traditional roles of a wife and husband in a traditional family are not just good things, but things to aspire to, today takes a conscious effort to understand and put into practice. Plus, as the doing so is not necessarily easy or the process entirely rosy, you need to work at it even as you gradually get an appreciation for it as you climb over the hurdles, especially at the starts, which without fail tend to be rooted in the following:
General laziness
General selfishness (greed for time to waste, consumer crap no one really needs, keeping up with the Joneses, lust for ever-changing sexual partners and gratification, gluttony to eat/travel/do as you please every minute of your day outside of work because your duty is ultimately and primarily focused on your having as easy a life as possible, gluttony for distraction TV/videogames/random hobbies with no real effect on your life)
General weakness. The usual “It’s too hard” without even trying. “I don’t know how” without ever trying to learn or find out. “I’m just not that kind of person” (too lazy). Which all falls under my label of, well, guess what, if you had a guy shoot you in the foot every time you whined about how you can’t, you’d learn to do it hopping on one leg after the first shot, and you would learn it right away. So it’s a matter of laziness and weakness of character ultimately.
Now, if you are wondering why anyone should put themselves through so much just to have a numerous and worthwhile and loyal family… well, I can’t help you. You’re probably the kind of person that will never do, achieve or teach anyone anything, other than possibly as an example of how not to be.
There is no substitute on Earth for a functional, loving, big family. I didn’t have one like that growing up. Neither did my wife. But we sure are going to keep working at making sure our children (and ourselves) do.
To Young Women
This post goes out to them mostly, but really to everyone too. We have all been subjected to the absolutely toxic and dysgenic ideology of the narcissistic Boomers and their destruction of all that came before them that was good and healthy and worthwhile. They built nothing, climbing on the corpses of the things they destroyed only to aggrandise themselves while feverishly blocking their own offspring from either being born in the first place, or any effort to have them catch up to them.
And while there are exceptions here and there, the extremely absolute vast majority of boomers are an absolute toxic sludge of modernity, self-obsession and narcissistic demonry. And to one extent or other, we have all been polluted by its stench.
So… please read this post at Sigma Game, where a comment by a GenX lady was posted in full. Read the whole thing there, but here is the pivotal jist of it:
Most women are natural followers and need an in-group of other women to build and grow their identity. And the older Boomer women who should be our matriarchs are STD-ridden, Diamond Princess-cruising nightmares.
When I left my stunningly-successful-early-in-my career professional position to (a) stay home with babies and (b) turn my professional skills toward supporting my husband’s business endeavors, every single one of the Boomer women in both of our families let me know how shocked and disappointed they were in me. How I was setting myself up to be too dependent on my husband, and was throwing away all the opportunities they fought so hard for. This included both my mother who was living vicariously through me, my you-go-girl mother-in-law, all three of their sisters, and three boomer aged step-sisters.
Notably, all but one of them are divorced. The one who isn’t is miserable. So it didn’t take long to look at their lives and think, well, if they’re all disappointed in me it must be the right call for not ending up as a miserable old biddie like them.
And the comment on it by Vox is spot on:
This woman did exactly what I fault young women, particularly of the Millennial and Gen Z generations for not doing, which is paying attention to the outcomes of the older women who are attempting to advise you! Misery loves company, and failures love giving advice; in both cases, the wise young woman will reject both.
However, this will inevitably create a challenge for the woman who has neither mentors nor matriarchs from whom she can learn. I know one Gen X woman who rejected her Boomer mother’s insane ways, but it took her literal years to learn how to cook, clean, and make a home from scratch as a post-college adult, because she had no female role model younger than her grandmother upon whom she could rely.
Both the lady who wrote in and Vox absolutely right. And I can attest to it myself, since I certainly did not have a good role model for marriage, but I was lucky enough to spend a few formative years with my grandparents, which on both sides were an model of stability so solid that as a child you just took it for granted. And that is not because things were necessarily rosy between my paternal grandparents. But whatever things they may have gone through, it was kept intensely between them and never touched us as their grandchildren. The love they had for us was never conditional or faked. The primary concepts my brother and I picked up in growing up were probably limited to a limited warrior code of being honest, keeping your word, not taking any shit from anyone, but not be obsessive about it. Justice was the thing, not your ego. And self-reliance, mostly not because it was taught but because we were left to our own devices pretty much unless it was something extremely serious. And even then, sometimes it was down to us anyway. I suppose you could put it down to being raised by a Sigma boomer father in that respect. He wasn’t very present and when he was it was mostly corrective (even when he was wrong). But that all said, I have no animosity at all towards the man, and he certainly always came through when it counted, nor was his love ever in question. Even so, I can’t say the example we had was a good one, in terms of creating a stable family life.
My wife had even less of any kind of even distant view of a traditional marriage and family life, and it has indeed taken her a long time to find her way in even the basics, which given my own examples probably made everything harder on both of us. One thing that has however held everything together is that we both have either a learnt or natural element of deep loyalty. In general, to each other, and to our children. It is an odd kind of loyalty, because it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s shared in the same way at the same time, we are only getting to that point now, after 7 years of marriage, before that, I would say it was our own, individual sense of loyalty and justice that kept us on course even when things were not ideal.
And certainly, I think a lot of grace, or divine assistance too, came into it. By all metrics, our marriage should have been an absolute train derailment, caused by a car-crash pile up on the railway, due to an airplane smashing into a level crossing. At rush hour.
Instead, it’s starting to become what I might have imagined in. my most fevered and fantastic imagination, as an idealistic 16 year old wondering what the perfect life might look like.
And if I have to point to a single thing that made it most possible (you know, after miracles, divine intervention, possible cohorts of angels and so on) when it comes to our human attributes, I would say that it is without a doubt my wife’s ability to do something that very, very, very, very, few women are truly capable of to any decent degree, and it is this:
She has the capacity to pause, review, and recognise logical paths before her and her own errors regarding them.
It is really quite astonishing, because she is absolutely female. Her emotions are truly like a storm at sea, both in the good and the bad. I really believe no man has any real clue the levels of emotional tides that women experience, and I say that being a man that clearly has a wide range of them beyond most normal men. The astonishing thing, which I tried to transmit also in Caveman Theory, is that the more of a safe realm you give your woman’s emotions to run free, yet are able to keep them also “contained”, that is allow her to do her freak-outs but don’t get phased by them nor let them steer you onto the rocks of dissent, disrespect, or utter madness (and that last one can be hard to define!), the more, if she is at heart a healthy person (and not a raging narcissist, in which case, you may not survive) she may become able to reason herself back to sanity once the tsunami of whatever it was has passed.
Perhaps it’s because she’s English. Those people have the almost alien-like ability to simultaneously not know themselves very well or very deeply, and yet to try to do so by the use of cold and calm logic. Unfortunately the study, use and practice of logic in the last century or so has been vilified, negated and denied to most people. So, great damage to this ability has been done, and the Anglo-Saxon female realm has gone from trying to reason things out during the calm between emotions, to the simple rationalisation/justification of whatever emotion happens to be running them in any given moment.
Certainly she also has an IQ that is well above average, which also helps, firstly because there isn’t an actual 30 point IQ communication gap between us. Or at least, mostly there isn’t and those little gaps that can happen if not taking the time to examine them can be bridged by a calm conversation.
But whatever the reason, she has the ability to do logic if given time and space to do it. She still needs to sometimes be “corralled” to the “logic box” because there are things that otherwise will be ignored for years, and being that as well as extremely feminine, she also has the tendency towards wanting to be as free as the proverbial mustang running in the prairies, that corralling is really something only a vastly experienced cowboy with the talent to make it an art might be able to do. The fine line has to be taken that she has to see it for herself. The corral, needs to be seen from a distance, because if she suddenly finds herself in one, even one of her ow making, then it’s usually panic stations and red alarms going off. And she also has to see it is good, from a distance, because again, it might be perfect but if in her imagination it comes as a sudden imposition she will panic without even evaluating what it is. And then see has to see it is not a prison but a home, a place you return to, not one that prevents you being free, but in fact one that allows you even more, and real freedom, once you accept the responsibilities of it.
It is not always easy, and I have never been a patient man, which may be a curse for some, but perhaps, in her case, it is a good thing. Pretty women invariably get away with murder with men. Most are too timid to even point out certain things, never mind make it something they will insist is part of their life. In short, sometimes, it takes a bastard to point a spoilt pretty girl in the right direction. It is not a trope in all the girly romantic novels for no reason after all, cliched as it sounds.
But the point is that above all, as I have been saying for literally decades, women need to begin to learn how to do actual logic. Their wild emotions and crazy feelings need to be learnt to be put aside and things reasoned out. And not with a view to justifying their feelings, emotions or what they want to happen, but so that objective reality can be evaluated and where they have lacunae (gaps, holes of knowledge, behaviour, understanding, intimacy, or whatever) they, not their husbands, not their children, not society, not the universe, not God, but they, they themselves, need to change and take the appropriate action to rectify and improve the issue. Very few women do this process consciously.
Most women who have read this will at this point be screaming at the screen, saying that sentence is so much nonsense because they…(add endless list of self-recriminating statements here). So let me explain it another way, and if you are a woman, please, put your emotions aside and pay attention.
Being able to observe yourself critically but in an objective fashion is very difficult for all human beings, men as well as women, because we are mostly selfish, weak, petty, ego-driven, flawed, nasty, little creatures. Yes, all of us, in varying degrees, but all of us.
Women, being far more governed by their emotions than men, naturally find this exercise far more difficult than even most men. Compounded by the biological solipsism intrinsic to women, which they can no more help than other attributes of their biology, and it is really quite hard to do. This process, has nothing to do with, and is very different from, the constant self-recrimination that most women who are not actual full-blown narcissists do. Allow me to give an example that will be instantly familiar to any woman.
Every normal woman, no matter how physically attractive she is, will invariably find some flaw with herself if standing naked in front of a full-length mirror. I know because I have observed this myself with literally every woman I have been with. And trust me, at the risk of sounding arrogant, I have had some very pretty girlfriends. And yet, they will absolutely crap all over themselves about some non-issue, that can range from the shape of their fingers, to the way their hair falls on them, a slight defect like a birth-mark, a tooth that is not perfectly straight, you name it, they will see flaws that no man would care at all about when looking at the rest of them. Women do this not just about their bodies but any number of other utterly irrelevant things.
If I ask a friend over to my place, it hardly makes a difference to me if there are dead bodies stacked by the front door. He’s my buddy, he’s not coming over for the decor. My wife (and this is natural and a good thing, I am not saying it is not) will freak out and try and spic and span the whole house like a tornado if the postman is dropping a parcel off and I invite him for coffee. She is starting to learn (the hard way) that in rural setting with 5 children, she may as well ask for herds of unicorns to line up outside for filming. But regardless she still gets rather upset at life, the universe, and sadly, herself, for not having things as perfect as she would like.
But I am not talking about these sort of recriminations. they are mostly a slight disease of the mind, quirks, and the general approach a man should have is to try your best to put her mind at ease and let her see her efforts are appreciated and her “flaws” are meaningless or even endearing to you.
When I talk about correcting a behaviour or flaw, I mean important shit that can fuck up your life, like excessive solipsism, or disrespecting your husband for some idiotic feminist concept that has no place in a healthy society. If you are a stay at home housewife and your husband works all day, learn to cook. Learn to take care of the home. And if you think that is “below your standard as a woman” then explain to me why driving a truck for 15 hours a day and getting a back injury from it, or being a plumber and literally fixing people’s shitty pipes all day, or an. oil rig driller and being covered in slurry and toxic shit day and day out is not below a man’s standard. looking after your family as you are able to is your duty. And yes, we all have duties if we are human beings even worthy of the name. And yes, your duties are more important than some fake, magical, Disney/Hollywood fairy tale life. If I need to crawl through a pile of rotting dead bodies for my family to be safe and happy, I will not even hesitate. Hell, I wouldn’t hesitate if I have to MAKE the pile of dead bodies before I crawl through it. And I full expect my wife to be able to do the same if called upon it. Though I will volunteer first for the dead bodies stuff, so it’s only fair she is the primary cook at home. There is absolutely nothing intrinsically wrong in each one having different roles. Not respecting those roles or not performing our duty-bound actions in their regard is the problem. Not the thing or the doing of the thing.
The moment women learn to do a lot more logic than they have been taught in the last hundred years, the sooner they will get back to being the kind of heroines that their grandmothers and great-grand-mothers probably were; with the added bonus that the “feminizing” of the men that has taken place over the same period, has resulted in the minority of men that have remained men, instead of becoming metrosexual, androgynous, confused fools, better able to appreciate a woman who is properly a woman instead of a spoilt brat or a slovenly slattern.
In short, the attitude that having a big family with lots of children, that being as self-sufficient as possible, and that the traditional roles of a wife and husband in a traditional family are not just good things, but things to aspire to, today takes a conscious effort to understand and put into practice. Plus, as the doing so is not necessarily easy or the process entirely rosy, you need to work at it even as you gradually get an appreciation for it as you climb over the hurdles, especially at the starts, which without fail tend to be rooted in the following:
Now, if you are wondering why anyone should put themselves through so much just to have a numerous and worthwhile and loyal family… well, I can’t help you. You’re probably the kind of person that will never do, achieve or teach anyone anything, other than possibly as an example of how not to be.
There is no substitute on Earth for a functional, loving, big family. I didn’t have one like that growing up. Neither did my wife. But we sure are going to keep working at making sure our children (and ourselves) do.
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