In case you still doubted Protestantism is an entirely man-as-God Satanic religion, fear not! We now have moved to the next stage of its devolution: Man-made machine as God.
Truly, it is as I said, we are entering the realm of the Paranoia RPG, where the computer is “God”.
It happened in the Bavarian city of Fuerth in St. Paul’s Church where the religious service was one of hundreds of events at the protestant convention of the Bavarian cities of Nurimberg.
The AI avatar doing the preaching was of a bearded African man. I assume this was done to stay in keeping with the historical ethnicity of Bavarians, as taught in the New History ™.
Dear friends, it is an honor for me to stand here and preach to you as the first artificial intelligence at this year’s convention of Protestants in Germany. The avatar said with an expressionless face and monotonous voice.
UltraViolet Clearance High Programmer 29-year-old Jonas Simmerlein,
a theologian and philosopher from the University of Vienna, used ChatGPT to help frame the service, he told in an exclusive statement of the AP. I conceived this service — but actually I rather accompanied it, because I would say about 98% comes from the machine.
I told the artificial intelligence ‘We are at the church congress, you are a preacher … what would a church service look like?’ You end up with a pretty solid church service.
Not all the citizens were completely thrilled.
Heiderose Schmidt, a 54-year-old IT worker, told the AP:
There was no heart and no soul. The avatars showed no emotions at all, had no body language and were talking so fast and monotonously that it was very hard for me to concentrate on what they said. But maybe it is different for the younger generation who grew up with all of this.
Heiderose-Schmidt-U-n-believer 002 was activated shortly after Heiderise-Schmidt-U-n-believer 001 reported to the nearest termination booth.
The introduction of Confessional Booths to improve citizen happiness under Friend Computer’s guidance will be next.
For those of you that aren’t familiar with the Paranoia RPG, confessional booths in the game are a thing, and are used to spy on the citizens themselves as well as for the citizens to report other citizens for any crimes committed against Alpha Complex or Friend Computer.
Encouraged by Friend Computer’s morale boosting termination of citizen Heiderose-Schmidt-U-n-believer 001, citizen Marc-Jansen-V-Loyal 001 said:
I had actually imagined it to be worse. But I was positively surprised how well it worked. Also the language of the AI worked well, even though it was still a bit bumpy at times.
Friend Computer rewarded Marc-Jansen-V-Loyal 001 with extra Soylent green rations for the next four daycycles.
Friend Computer and his High Programmers want you to have all the information at your fingertips Citizen, which is why this removal of a test-run of Beta Complex was removed from the public scrutiny.
All is well citizen. Your spiritual needs are all taken care of by Friend Computer, citizen. And remember citizen:
Happiness is mandatory! Enjoy your day cycle citizen.
Pray Harder Citizen
In case you still doubted Protestantism is an entirely man-as-God Satanic religion, fear not! We now have moved to the next stage of its devolution: Man-made machine as God.
Truly, it is as I said, we are entering the realm of the Paranoia RPG, where the computer is “God”.
It happened in the Bavarian city of Fuerth in St. Paul’s Church where the religious service was one of hundreds of events at the protestant convention of the Bavarian cities of Nurimberg.
The AI avatar doing the preaching was of a bearded African man. I assume this was done to stay in keeping with the historical ethnicity of Bavarians, as taught in the New History ™.
Dear friends, it is an honor for me to stand here and preach to you as the first artificial intelligence at this year’s convention of Protestants in Germany. The avatar said with an expressionless face and monotonous voice.
UltraViolet Clearance High Programmer 29-year-old Jonas Simmerlein,
a theologian and philosopher from the University of Vienna, used ChatGPT to help frame the service, he told in an exclusive statement of the AP. I conceived this service — but actually I rather accompanied it, because I would say about 98% comes from the machine.
I told the artificial intelligence ‘We are at the church congress, you are a preacher … what would a church service look like?’ You end up with a pretty solid church service.
Not all the citizens were completely thrilled.
Heiderose Schmidt, a 54-year-old IT worker, told the AP:
There was no heart and no soul. The avatars showed no emotions at all, had no body language and were talking so fast and monotonously that it was very hard for me to concentrate on what they said. But maybe it is different for the younger generation who grew up with all of this.
Heiderose-Schmidt-U-n-believer 002 was activated shortly after Heiderise-Schmidt-U-n-believer 001 reported to the nearest termination booth.
The introduction of Confessional Booths to improve citizen happiness under Friend Computer’s guidance will be next.
For those of you that aren’t familiar with the Paranoia RPG, confessional booths in the game are a thing, and are used to spy on the citizens themselves as well as for the citizens to report other citizens for any crimes committed against Alpha Complex or Friend Computer.
Encouraged by Friend Computer’s morale boosting termination of citizen Heiderose-Schmidt-U-n-believer 001, citizen Marc-Jansen-V-Loyal 001 said:
I had actually imagined it to be worse. But I was positively surprised how well it worked. Also the language of the AI worked well, even though it was still a bit bumpy at times.
Friend Computer rewarded Marc-Jansen-V-Loyal 001 with extra Soylent green rations for the next four daycycles.
Friend Computer and his High Programmers want you to have all the information at your fingertips Citizen, which is why this removal of a test-run of Beta Complex was removed from the public scrutiny.
All is well citizen. Your spiritual needs are all taken care of by Friend Computer, citizen. And remember citizen:
Happiness is mandatory! Enjoy your day cycle citizen.
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Tags: friend computer, paranoia rpg, the kurgan
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